Demi Hayes has had plenty of time to ponder what could've been after her Olympic dream was shattered by an ACL injury.
Instead, the former Australian captain is using her hurt to help others in the team as she reflects on her journey back to Rugby.
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Hayes was the first in an unfortunate long list of ACL injuries in the Women's Sevens side after picking up the injury in Cape Town last December.
The 26-year-old has gone through the full rehab process and will return to the gold jersey this week during the opening round of the SVNS world series in Dubai.
“It's probably hard to describe,” Hayes told Rugby.com.au on her impending return. “I explain it in the 12 months feels like it's all gone really, really quickly but each day has also been a bit of a slog trying to get back, working my way back to be in the best physical and mental condition.
“I'm still pretty emotional about the whole thing, but really excited to step out there in Dubai and play.
"...(When it happened), I felt and heard something and it didn't feel right. I was in quite a fair bit of pain so immediately I couldn't really get up and knew that something was wrong. Unfortunately my fiancé (ex-Sevens star Simon Kennewell) had gone through three of them so I knew what it felt like from him explaining it.
“I thought the worst considering the Olympics was coming up and I knew it was a really long rehab so I was more really upset because of the timeframe in the Olympics than my actual knee being sore.”
At the time of the injury, the former Australian captain was hanging onto a slim chance of featuring at the Paris Olympics.
Former teammate Gemma Etheridge returned within a similar time to be fit for the Rio 2016 Olympics, whilst New Zealand legend Sarah Hirini was cleared for Paris after she suffered the same injury in Cape Town.
Ultimately, Hayes believes she was a fortnight away from being fit to play, instead forced to watched the side crash out on the final day and finished fourth.
“I did a pitch ready test for my knee to push to try and play in Brisbane a few weeks before they left for the Olympics," she explained.
"With my career continuing and not retiring after this injury, the risk of re-rupturing under playing at six months was too high for me and that was when the medical staff and ‘Walshy' came down to the decision I was ineligible for selection.
“That was probably really hard the fact that I put absolutely everything into that last six months and I wasn't eligible but I also don't regret that in saying I put everything into it to try and be back.”
As Hayes went through the process of pushing to be fit, her company grew on the sidelines.
Madison Ashby and Lily Dick started the horror run of knee injuries in Singapore, with Alysia Lefau-Fakaosilea joining the group as Hayes pushed her case in the Brisbane camp.
Kaitlin Shave went down during the first day of the Olympics, with Sidney Taylor completing the lot after the Games.
It spurred Hayes on to rally the group together as they completed their rehab in different areas across the eastern seaboard.
With Ashby in Canberra and Lefau-Fakaosilea in Brisbane, Hayes created a 'Knee Club' WhatsApp group in order to support their recovery journeys and celebrate the little wins within the journey.
“When the team's focus is the Olympics and that's all they're thinking about, you’re quite lonely in rehab and it's also quite an isolating place in the way that you don't necessarily want to be in here but you're here to do your job, do your rehab and make your knee better,” Hayes believes.
“I've just always told them they can lean on me if they ever need me, more just to cry. I always say it's OK to cry and breakdown. Everyone's in different stages of their rehab so ever compare yourself to someone else and I’m always there for them.
“I always go check in on them and always celebrate their wins because whether you go from walking to doing stair drilling, from stair drilling to running, it's a massive reward after all the work you've done."
Hayes had cleared the return to play process but had another milestone she had to tick off: her return to riding.
The Queenslander run a horse agistment business alongside fiancé and former Sevens star Simon Kennewell on a 105 acre property.
It's something that is within Hayes' blood, with her family owning a 10,000 acre farm in Scone.
“I went home for Christmas immediately after I got surgery and I was isolated in the way that I was at my property but there wasn't anything I could do and even until probably four months ago, I was only able to get on a horse because getting on a horse isn't easy with a sore knee so that made it really hard," she admits.
“I suppose being out there, getting the fresh air, being in my safe space always made it better regardless of what I could and couldn't do."
Hayes' social media is filled with photos of her life on the farm and her horses, in particular 'Harlow'.
“Obviously it feels so honoured to play for Australia so it's a very different feeling but when I do get to get on Harlow, who's a giant, I feel like I've accomplished something," she admits.
"That gets me home and makes me feel like I'm refreshed and when I come back, I know that I can go do my job out on the field.”
Hayes returns to a new-look squad, with Bella Nasser stepping up as captain in place of Charlotte Caslick, with Hayes and Caslick sharing the captaincy during the Triple Crown success in 2022.
There are also several new faces in the 2024-25 squad, with the focus from coach Tim Walsh on bringing the enjoyment back after injury and Olympic heartbreak.
“I think the key message is just come back to enjoy it. Everything's been about really shortening up the days, not dragging anything out and really making sure we find the love for the game again and enjoying it," Hayes said.
“Being so disappointed and heartbroken in Paris, people went through all different emotions weeks, months after the Olympics so coming back, he wanted everyone to want to be back and really enjoy it and love each other again.
“It's all been about celebrating each other, still celebrating the year that we had regardless of the Olympics and then moving on for a refresh.”
